I: fall 0:00 - 2:48 these aches and pains will make me waste away, it's almost okay, cuz i can barely face the night what makes you think i'll face the day? there's no more sun, it's just rain clouds and claps of thunder, to match my mood so i remain down, collapsed under hands, thick and gruff, big and rough they pick my brain apart, putting pressure on my lungs, ribcage and heart. breathing's shallow like the tar pit i'm drowning in, hands shove me in, i fear i'll never see the ground again. my constant stomach ache's a mismatch for summer days i wish just for once my body would act it's fucking age. i'm not blind, but i can hardly see in front of me the only thing i have is 40 grit to keep me company. every shadow here is jagged, every voice is haggard every dream is shattered, all rejoices staggered. feel like i'm in a fritz lang picture but no cameras rolling, stuck in this quick sand fixture. II: void 2:50 - 4:06 my phone line's cluttered with bad news and "i'm sorry"s so my inner ear's always sad blues and high worries caught up in a spider's web of my own creation i wonder if the burning in my tummy is of any relation? fingers jitter, make the lyrics chickenscratch singin bitter make the cynics sit n laugh listen sycophants walk a mile in my converse before you come up to me trying converse and i ain't being facetious my internal organs feel like they're covered in leeches the hands hold me down as i'm smothered by bleakness losing people that i love is my one true weakness i've never really been coy i've never felt comfortable being a boy all the drones sit quietly enamoured by the noise but i don't even hear it as i sink into the - III: fracture 4:06 - 5:43 permanantly split lip, branded me a misfit the mirror's what my fist hits, red hits the sink it's the blood that goes drip drop dead every evening with my faulty fucking breathing sound like darth vader at the end of a beating bleeding knuckles hammer the inside of my skull non-stop of all my thoughts, the negatives always come out on top haunted by halloween 2016 to this day i'm lucky the river didn't have the final say but it did have the last laugh i can barely go a day without flashbacks i feel like im regressing my body no longer feels under my possession i have no control over my discretion i was rooted to the spot to digest but i feel fucked up because i haven't even cried yet your words more deadly than sticks and stones, they didn't break my bones, but they bruised my soul and the rocks never stopped being thrown the rocks never stopped being thrown the rocks never stopped being thrown IV: chatter 5:45 - 7:05 (instrumental) V: ruin 7:05 - 8:25 i miss you star i miss you october i miss you wizard i miss you filmmaker i miss you hobbit i miss you house plant i miss you pink and yellow i miss you lamb i miss every actor and actress i miss you bookworm i miss you fire i miss you ganymede but do you miss me? i feel forgotten like 'london after midnight' im in the humdrum of my midlife where time is a cavern you used to whisper "put down the dagger" your voice evaporated into stalactites on the ceiling my person has no meaning im having trouble eating im having trouble sleeping im having trouble feeling i miss meeting people, the irony of that i can't leave the village without anxiety attacks ... almost makes me laugh ... almost makes me laugh... VI: hope 8:25 - 12:00 good luck for the future good luck with those pains you're now used to good luck with your plans to make a couple fans and shake a couple hands that aren't the ones that pin you down good luck shaking everything that brings you frowns don't give up now, my friend have patience the sun'll come out again you just have to wake up from the cavern you're in find your balance, don't become a cadaver and end good luck working on your empathy and last of all, good luck rising out your entropy izzie drizzle, professional sad-they writes shitty raps when she's havin a bad day jeans rolled up, i'm your typical plaid gay i'll keep going til they say "she's so passé" i never know how to act when people leave unannoucned my chest hurts, i try to breath but i drown in self pity, and vent through my artistry stay awake late, so i'm finding it hard to sleep when you called me in the dusk of may the fifteenth and snapped the tether that i always thought was so pristine i'd all but forgotten this feeling from summmertime '16, except i haven't cried, like there's a dam behind my eyes but soon that dam will start to break, and tears will start to rise cuz the buildup's been too long, and it'll clear my clouded mind but that could be another week, another month or two or five so i just wanna run and hide, leaving everything behind.